Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
