If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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