Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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