we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
