She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
