it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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