They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
