The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
