I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
time to smoke my breakfast
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
