Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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