okay pat passed out under dana's car
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
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