We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
