He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
