I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
