even my farts smell like vagina
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
