what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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