he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
