How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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