Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
