his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
