I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
