those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
