You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
