I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
