Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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