i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
