There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
