I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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