I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
