Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
