you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
