The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
