are you still at the devil's house?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
