my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
