So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
