why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
