shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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