This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
