ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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