am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
