I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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