It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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