walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
