Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
