Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
