your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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