Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
