I'm really into asian looking animals
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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