hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
