yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
