I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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