it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
