Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
