just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Naked. naked and bneed help.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
